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- The Cynic: November 17
The Cynic: November 17
The Cynic
November 17, 2025
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BUSINESS
This Week’s Business News
Trump Buys At Least $82 Million in Bonds — Because Cash Is for Amateurs
REUTERS
Turns out the president’s favorite asset this fall was… debt. New disclosures show Trump bought at least $82 million worth of corporate and municipal bonds across more than 175 transactions since late August.
Most of it was classic American muni stuff. School districts, counties, cities — plus corporate debt from Intel, Meta, Qualcomm, Goldman, JPMorgan and more.
Even his Intel bonds came after the government took a stake. The White House says he’s following all ethics rules, proving nothing in D.C. is more sacred than paperwork.
Trump’s Coffee Tariff Shakeup: Cheap Lattes for the U.S., Heartburn for Brazil
REUTERS | Jeenah Moon
Your latte may soon cost less — unless it’s Brazilian. The U.S. removed tariffs on most coffee imports, but kept a 40% duty on beans from Brazil.
Everyone else got an upgrade to the tariff-free lane. Roasters are already shifting toward Asia and other Latin American suppliers.
Brazil’s market share is dropping fast. Specialty exports to the U.S. are down more than 50% since the tariff changes kicked in.
Appeals Court Weighs Reviving Tylenol–Autism Cases
REUTERS | Hemanshi Kamani
Only in America do lawsuits get resurrected with press-conference quotes. A federal appeals court is considering whether to revive more than 500 suits claiming Tylenol use in pregnancy causes autism.
Plaintiffs are pointing to comments from the Trump administration. They argue the remarks support reopening the litigation, even though scientists say there’s no proven link.
Meanwhile, Kenvue is getting acquired anyway. Kimberly-Clark says the $40 billion merger will proceed regardless of how the lawsuits shake out.
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REAL ESTATE
This Week’s Real Estate News
Zillow Disrupted Real Estate — Now Antitrust Lawyers Are Disrupting Zillow
AFP | Getty Images
Zillow disrupted real estate so hard the lawyers want a turn. The company faces multiple lawsuits claiming its partnerships and data deals hurt competition.
One focuses on a $100 million rental-ads agreement. Regulators say it may have made competing sites too similar to Zillow.
And rivals are pouncing. CoStar is suing for over $1 billion in a photo dispute, while Compass is pushing exclusive listings that avoid Zillow altogether.
Mark Wahlberg’s $37 Million Florida Mansion: From House to Asset Class
Courtesy of Zuri Gardens
Mark Wahlberg just bought a house that appreciates faster than protein powder. The actor snagged a 17,800-square-foot Stone Creek Ranch estate for $37 million.
The place has flipped more times than a CrossFit tire. It’s changed owners about five times in six years, jumping from $17 million to $37 million.
The neighborhood is basically Billionaire Summer Camp. Neighbors include CEOs, team owners, and people whose homes have their own PR teams.
Trump’s 50-Year Mortgage: Pay Less Per Month, Pay Forever
REUTERS
Trump’s housing pitch is simple: stretch the mortgage until your hair turns grey, then keep going. He told Fox News he supports 50-year mortgages to lower monthly payments.
He defended it after online pushback. His point: smaller monthly bills help people qualify in an expensive housing market.
Economists say it’s cheaper now, pricier later. Monthly savings are modest, but total interest balloons — the most American trade-off imaginable.
“This is way funnier than CNN.”
FUN
Riddle Me This
I never buy a house, yet I sell them all the time.
When I’m low, lines form; when I’m high, “maybe next time.”
I price tomorrow with numbers you pay today.
What am I?
Reply to this email with the answer for a chance to win a surprise
ADVICE
This Week’s Business Advice
“Hire a really expensive marketer. It’s almost always worth it.”
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