The Cynic: December 8

BUSINESS
This Week’s Business News

Netflix Buys Warner Bros’ Studios and Streaming Arm in $72B “Final Boss” Deal

Netflix just speed-ran the game and bought the final boss of legacy media. The streamer agreed to acquire Warner Bros Discovery’s TV and film studios plus its streaming division in a $72 billion cash-and-stock deal, putting franchises like Game of Thrones, DC, and Harry Potter under the Netflix umbrella.

The plan is: spin off the leftover Discovery networks, then mash HBO Max into the Netflix machine. Warner will first separate its global cable and sports assets into a new company, then close the sale in late 2026, after regulators finish hyperventilating over what this does to competition.

Netflix says it’s about savings and “synergies,” everyone else hears “fewer buyers, bigger gatekeeper.” The company projects billions in cost cuts within a few years, while critics warn the merger could reduce choice for creators, cinemas, and viewers who were already paying for six different streaming apps to watch two shows.

EU Fines X $140 Million While TikTok Escapes With a Promise

Brussels just sent Elon Musk a very expensive push notification. The EU fined X 120 million euros (about $140 million) for breaking the bloc’s Digital Services Act by failing to police illegal content, muddying its blue-check system, hiding ad transparency, and throttling researcher access.

TikTok, facing similar questions, opted for the “we’ll behave, please don’t bill us” route. It dodged a fine by agreeing to beef up its ad library and transparency tools, while other platforms like Meta and Temu are still under investigation.

The EU insists it’s about rules, not revenge against American tech. Officials say any company that complies avoids penalties, while U.S. politicians — including Vice President JD Vance — accuse Europe of turning digital regulation into a stealth tax on U.S. platforms, proving that even content moderation now has geopolitical lore.

Film Producers Beg Congress Not to Let Netflix Eat Warner Bros

Hollywood just discovered its least favorite genre: “mega-merger with only one buyer.” A group calling themselves “concerned feature film producers” quietly lobbied Congress to oppose Netflix’s takeover of Warner Bros Discovery’s studios and streaming arm.

They’re warning of an “economic and institutional crisis” if the deal goes through. In an email to lawmakers, the producers say Netflix already has huge power as both buyer and distributor, and swallowing Warner would give it even more leverage over budgets, back-end deals, and what actually gets made.

They left the letter unsigned, which tells you exactly how scared they are of retaliation. Their ask is simple but pointed: push for the “highest level of antitrust scrutiny” and don’t just rubber-stamp a deal that could leave the entire film ecosystem pitching to one Netflix exec and a spreadsheet.

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REAL ESTATE
This Week’s Real Estate News

Canary Wharf Isn’t Dead — Visa and JPMorgan Just Turned the Lights Back On

London’s “ghost town of glass towers” is suddenly getting new tenants with actual pulse. Visa is moving its UK headquarters to Canary Wharf, and JPMorgan is plowing billions into a massive new tower there — a combined vote of confidence in a district many had written off post-Brexit and post-remote-work.

The area is slowly shifting from “banks and bonus season” to a mixed-use mini-city. Alongside finance giants, developers are adding more residential, retail, and life-sciences space to avoid the all-or-nothing office vacancy trap.

It’s not quite 2006 again, but it’s not a zombie zone either. With blue-chip names signing long leases, Canary Wharf’s story is evolving from “empty offices” to “repriced offices with better tenants and fewer delusions.”

A Virginia County Is Using Data Centers to Buy People Houses

Henrico County basically turned server farms into a first-time homebuyer subsidy machine. Massive data centers in the Richmond area are pumping tax revenue into an Affordable Housing Trust Fund instead of just into general budget mush.

That fund helps cut the price of new homes for first-time buyers. By using those data-center dollars to plug the gap, developers can sell new construction at lower prices without waiting on slow, paperwork-heavy federal programs.

It’s NIMBY meets NVIDIA, with a surprisingly wholesome twist. Residents still debate land use and power demand, but the model shows how “ugly boxes full of servers” can directly translate into “actual families buying starter homes” instead of just stock buybacks and shareholder decks.

Weekly Housing Trends: Inventory Up, Sellers Finally Losing Their Superpowers

Sellers just lost the right to price like it’s 2021 and expect 12 offers by Tuesday. Realtor.com’s latest weekly data shows inventory climbing again, with active listings up sharply year-over-year as slow 2025 sales pile more homes onto the market.

Prices are softening and days on market are stretching. Median listing prices are flattening out, more sellers are cutting asking prices, and homes are sitting longer — all classic signs of a market tilting back toward buyers.

It’s not a crash; it’s a slow, awkward power shift. Mortgage rates are easing into the low-6% range, inventory is rising, and 2026 is shaping up as a “gradual reset” rather than a boom — which is great news for buyers and terrible news for anyone who thought their split-level ranch was a retirement plan.

FUN
Riddle Me This

A CEO, an AI model, and a middle manager walk into a budget meeting. By the end of Q4, only two of them are still on payroll, and both insist they “created most of the value.”

Who got cut?

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